So, I am having some mixed feelings about going back to work in 6 weeks. These are feelings I did not think I was going to have....especially after Stella's first 8 weeks of life. Since she has been eating more she has been a much happier baby (if I was starving all the time I would be cranky too!)
Now I am thinking I would really like to be a SAHM for the first few years of Stella's life. I mean, I love working and the interaction with people that talk back - lol - but I just want to cry when I think about leaving her for 9 hours a day. I am even going to be leaving her with my mom, who I completely trust, and is the ideal caretaker. I just don't want to leave her. She was growing in me for 36 weeks, and has been almost as attached for the last 10 weeks. It is going to be weird without her.
Can we afford for me to stay home? Yes and No. Yes, we can cut way back, dip into our savings if need be and make things work. If we really needed to we could take more student loans to cover tuition and extra stuff....I just really don't want to do that. The problem is, we would not be saving anything, we would not be contributing to Stella's college fund, nor my 401k for retirement. I really don't want to dig ourselves into a hole - we have done so well over the last 5 years.
Now, if Andy could get a VP job at one of the high schools that would *really* help me make a decision. He would be making more and we wouldn't have to worry about my income so much.
Maybe I could work part-time....that would help with the income situation and let me be home more.
Maybe we could win the lottery - lol!!!!
I just don't know what to do. I go back in 6 weeks and will be working half days that week, so I guess we will see how that goes. This whole thing is such a bummer.....=(