So, I am having some mixed feelings about going back to work in 6 weeks. These are feelings I did not think I was going to have....especially after Stella's first 8 weeks of life. Since she has been eating more she has been a much happier baby (if I was starving all the time I would be cranky too!)
Now I am thinking I would really like to be a SAHM for the first few years of Stella's life. I mean, I love working and the interaction with people that talk back - lol - but I just want to cry when I think about leaving her for 9 hours a day. I am even going to be leaving her with my mom, who I completely trust, and is the ideal caretaker. I just don't want to leave her. She was growing in me for 36 weeks, and has been almost as attached for the last 10 weeks. It is going to be weird without her.
Can we afford for me to stay home? Yes and No. Yes, we can cut way back, dip into our savings if need be and make things work. If we really needed to we could take more student loans to cover tuition and extra stuff....I just really don't want to do that. The problem is, we would not be saving anything, we would not be contributing to Stella's college fund, nor my 401k for retirement. I really don't want to dig ourselves into a hole - we have done so well over the last 5 years.
Now, if Andy could get a VP job at one of the high schools that would *really* help me make a decision. He would be making more and we wouldn't have to worry about my income so much.
Maybe I could work part-time....that would help with the income situation and let me be home more.
Maybe we could win the lottery - lol!!!!
I just don't know what to do. I go back in 6 weeks and will be working half days that week, so I guess we will see how that goes. This whole thing is such a bummer.....=(
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While I highly recommend being a SAHM you have to do what will make most sense for your family now AND in the future. Don't forget...you can always become a SAHM later. And once you begin and get into the routine of dropping her off and picking her up it will become more of how you do things. It will be hard for a while, but as many of my friends tell me...it's just what you do after a while and you don't feel as guilty or sad about it. Good luck with whatever decision you make though!!! :)
ReplyDeleteOh...and decide now if you are going to be "sensitive" about firsts. If you want to experience all of her firsts at home wit her...and you have your mom watch her...just let her know not to inform you of their happening. Sure, it may be lying...but you won't know that. :)
ReplyDeleteHaha - I love it! I'll just have to remind my mom to act surprised when I tell her about a first - even if it technically isn't one =)
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